Take Banffy for cloacas, a womp

Woooooah! Andrew Koenig found dead. Listen to me! He was a vegan warrior. I want to go to Culvers to eat fried mermaid from their dumpster. That's where they found him. He had a note pinned to his shirt. "When one of us eats mermaid, we all eat mermaid. You shitters and your disgusting world." He was hanging from a rope that went into the clouds. It was taut. We all loved Boner. Bright lights don't illuminate themselves, sadly. That's why I bring the joy. Well this is nice. I never thought you and I would get to be together alone. I don't get out one on one really much at all. Why's that? Everyone has so much fun when you're around, Jerd. You're just so funny. That bit you did in the break room about asking for Product 19 on the Kellogs factory tour was brilliant. You're sweet, Densey. Thank you. What about the conversation between Leigh McCloskey and Dario Argento: Maestro, the screenplay says that Mark is to have a mustache. Si, si. Well, your excellence, my mustache is just absolutely disgusting. Like a twelve year old boy. Like a blonde thing that lives on a hydrothermal vent. Non importa. Hai visto i miei capelli? Sembro il papà di Peter Bark. That's great. I love INFERNO. Can we switch seats? I like to face the room. Haha are you afraid of getting assassinated? Not exactly. You look really nervous. I guess I am. There's stuff that kinda makes me avoid dating women. Ok. I'll bite. Are you gay? Gay? I wish. If I were gay, there'd be no problem. No, what I have is a gastrointestinal abnormality--one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all costs. I have a cloaca. Like from a rip down there? Like a hernia? No. It's congenital. It's called serpentorism. You take prescription Banffy to temper it. Tell your doctor if you die or your toenails become animate. But still I need to be near a bathroom at all times. Because I fart diarrhea. Um, Jerd, how do you get through a day? The meds help. I also wear diapers. But it's not like I want to change them on a date. Can you dig it? I can't even!!! It's my underwear. I smell like gravy. But whenever it reads it back to me, just that line, it does it in an Italian accent. E smella leak e grevay. Also when we have sex later I'll need to be on the bottom. Densey?